I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
