i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
