we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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