we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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