Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
