You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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