I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize