You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
