i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
