Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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