Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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