the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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