The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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