I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Do vagina's smell?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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