Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
