He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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