You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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