To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
