apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
