Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I will die if light touches me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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