is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize