THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize