This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
