You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
