I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
