so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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