He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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