at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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