i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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