i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
