I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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