I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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