I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
