Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
