Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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