Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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