we have officially lost it.
I have demons in me.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Operation Purity has been aborted
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Drunk is a universal language darling
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize