remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
