he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize