I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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