How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
