yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
