you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
