but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
