I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
