I like to think it a success when the cops are called
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
