he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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