So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
