Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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