I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize