Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
