You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
