he wants to bone in the snuggie
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize