she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
