Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
