I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize