Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize