His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
